Monday, March 28, 2011

Well, that's torn it.

Gentle Felines,
I have been silent lately, but not gone. I may have been quiet; but I was fuming inwardly. Now she's gone and done it. Now she's really gotten on my last whisker. I refer to my so-called training "subject."

The past two months have been a comedy of errors--on my human's part. She fell ill for a while. I patiently pinned her down to her bed and helped her re-establish a healthy routine by encouraging her to increase my mealtimes, soothe her nerves by brushing me, and generally eased up on the hard training grind. I was a little alarmed: had I been too hard on her? Had I, in attempting to play Miracle Worker, failed to teach my poor Helen what water was and perhaps stuffed her down the well instead? So I eased up, yes, I did. I backed off. I took care of her.

And here's what it got me.

 She packed up my stuff, whanged me in a carrier, and moved me. To another house. Yes. You read that correctly. Oh, she came too, of course. She brought the dog as well (missed opportunity, that. Well, you can't get through to some humans). And--wait for it--she brought two new humans with her.

Yep. That's right. Two. One day I'm lounging on the couch, thinking, my, she's putting on some fancy clothes, and don't those flowers look tasty, yes, I'll have to try some later---and when I woke up from my nap some time later and she got back not only did I NOT get to eat the flowers, but she brought a great hulking male human with her, and a sticky-noisy-already-ambulatory-little-human-kitten. Great Bast above! This was a disgusting development.
                                           Fig. A: Avoiding sticky fingers.

So that is where I have been: sulking. Nobody, but nobody, my gentle feline friends, can sulk quite like a cat whose human has Gravely Disappointed Her for Absolutely The Last Time. Well, I have also been avoiding sticky little fingers.

                                          Fig. B: Lots of sunny windows.

There is, however, an up side to all of this.

My new domain has lots of sunny windows. And the great hulking huge male human?

A trainable servant, it would seem. Already he arises before dawn when loudly summoned by yours truly.

And the sticky small human kitten?

Warm at night.

I will recover. In time.