Monday, March 28, 2011

Well, that's torn it.

Gentle Felines,
I have been silent lately, but not gone. I may have been quiet; but I was fuming inwardly. Now she's gone and done it. Now she's really gotten on my last whisker. I refer to my so-called training "subject."

The past two months have been a comedy of errors--on my human's part. She fell ill for a while. I patiently pinned her down to her bed and helped her re-establish a healthy routine by encouraging her to increase my mealtimes, soothe her nerves by brushing me, and generally eased up on the hard training grind. I was a little alarmed: had I been too hard on her? Had I, in attempting to play Miracle Worker, failed to teach my poor Helen what water was and perhaps stuffed her down the well instead? So I eased up, yes, I did. I backed off. I took care of her.

And here's what it got me.

 She packed up my stuff, whanged me in a carrier, and moved me. To another house. Yes. You read that correctly. Oh, she came too, of course. She brought the dog as well (missed opportunity, that. Well, you can't get through to some humans). And--wait for it--she brought two new humans with her.

Yep. That's right. Two. One day I'm lounging on the couch, thinking, my, she's putting on some fancy clothes, and don't those flowers look tasty, yes, I'll have to try some later---and when I woke up from my nap some time later and she got back not only did I NOT get to eat the flowers, but she brought a great hulking male human with her, and a sticky-noisy-already-ambulatory-little-human-kitten. Great Bast above! This was a disgusting development.
                                           Fig. A: Avoiding sticky fingers.

So that is where I have been: sulking. Nobody, but nobody, my gentle feline friends, can sulk quite like a cat whose human has Gravely Disappointed Her for Absolutely The Last Time. Well, I have also been avoiding sticky little fingers.

                                          Fig. B: Lots of sunny windows.

There is, however, an up side to all of this.

My new domain has lots of sunny windows. And the great hulking huge male human?

A trainable servant, it would seem. Already he arises before dawn when loudly summoned by yours truly.

And the sticky small human kitten?

Warm at night.

I will recover. In time.


  1. Puss, my friend, I must say I'm glad to see you back! I was more than a little alarmed to see tha tyour mewsings hadn't been updated in some time. I got to thinking that maybe the Helen thing had replaced you with another stupid dogface. I'm glad you wrote when you did, because I was just in the process of getting together a rescue swat team to whisk you out of whatever hell you found yourself in!

    This moving house is ridiculous. My own human did exactly the same thing to me not so long ago, and whilst I coped as you have dont, I can't pretend to appreciate it. The old place was fine. I don't understand this need to relocate that they seem to have. I mean, isn't a secure territory enough? You don't see we more sensible creatures moving on just because the old place is too settled and nice. Oh well. I suppose it's too much to ask them to show the ability to think and reason.

  2. We saw you on the CB and came to meet you....Perhaps we've dropped in at an inconvenient time? It would seem you've had great trauma and upheaval in your life recently. We've never had to move, thank Bast, and hope we never do!

    Should we send nip, to help mellow you out as you settle in? :-P

    -Nicki and Derry at Fuzzy Tales

  3. Puss Puss, I am pleased you have managed to find tiny morsels of comfort after so many rude challenges. Windows, warmth at night and a hulk to do your immediate bidding might make your recovery easier. I do hope so dear

    Whicky Wuudler

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